The Beast You've Made Me
by Gabrielle's Scrolls
Summary: What if Xena actually throws Gabrielle off the cliff and didn't fall with her. This story takes place in the beginning of Bitter Suite. Gabrielle and Xena must face reality without each other, and find new paths to follow. But will those paths bring them back together or against each other when a new battle arises with Ceasar as it's driving force.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Xena was blinded by the hate and vengeance for her son and was being fueled by the God of War.

To her, at that very moment, Gabrielle was the only evil in the world she needed to stop. In her mind she had no time to think of all their adventures fighting for the greater good, or the tough times they had pulled out of together, or even the fact that the loving Bard was just protecting her _own_ 'daughter'; not because she wanted the reign of Dahak, but because the Bard always saw the good in people before she saw the bad.

Xena held Gabrielle high in the air, as revenge and adrenaline coursed through her veins. The blond stayed limp in the air, and when the final nerve struck in Xena, the Bard fell deep into the arms of the ocean.

Xena gave out a laugh that expressed the hurt for killing her best friend but also the happiness for the revenge carried out for her son. She looked over towards the sea and was sure there was no way Gabrielle could emerge from the fall.

"Xena.." Ares cooed behind Xena.

"Ares." Xena glanced over her shoulder with her eyes lowered and one eye brow raised.

"Join me. I am all you have left. I can help you heal and be free again. Rule with me, Xena." Ares placed his hands on her shoulders and seductively pleaded once again.

Xena's eyes were full of lust, but she was still hesitant in joining with Ares.

"Xena!" Joxer came running down the hills.

"I'll be back for that answer."Ares disappeared.

Xena rolled her eyes and her nostrils flared, with the emotions running through her body, she was contemplating throwing him over the edge too.

"What!? You slimy rat!" Xena's eyes lit up in anger.

"Gabrielle...Where...is...she?" Joxer placed his hands on his knees and bent over trying to catch his breath.

"Gabrielle?" Xena paused and looked over the cliff. "Oh. She's dead." A mischievous grin was now traced lightly on Xena's face.

"What? Wait, Xena...you wouldn't." Joxer looked pleadingly at Xena. His obnoxiousness faded and the maturity in his tone had risen in his voice.

"Oh, I would." She retorted as she grabbed the reigns of Argo and started to walk away.

"Xena..."

"What?"

"Before you leave can I say something?" Tears filled up Joxer's eyes but before he could mourn he knew he had to try and calm the fire in Xena. Even though Gabrielle was dead by Xena's hands, the Bard would still have wanted Xena to keep fighting for the greater good and not for all the evil and hatred in the world.

"Final words, Joxer?" She said annoyed but would try and listen. By this point the warrior was beginning to numb herself to the world

"You know...knew" Joxer paused at the harsh reality "...Gabrielle as well as I did. How could you have expected her to give up something that you yourself cannot give up? It has turned you into a beast full of revenge Xena. How is..." Joxer rolled his eyes. "was...she supposed to get through it or kill her own child." He closed his eyes and grabbed his hat tight in his hands. "All I am saying is that you taught Gabrielle to not kill for the longest time and then you act so surprised when she can't kill or won't let anyone kill her own supposed child. Whether you like it or not Xena, she pained through it's birth, she saw a smile of a child, of a baby, an innocent in her eyes. Solan was once the same...I'm sure you felt that when you brought him into the world, that you never cared if he was going to be good or bad, but what ever happened you would try your best to mold him into good. Well...Xena, what about Gabrielle?"

Xena gulped and pursed her lips together and thought about the things he said. The one thing she kept thinking was how right he was and how bad she now felt for killing her best friend. She closed her eyes and patted Argo with one stroke.

"It's too late, Joxer." She saddled up and road away.

Joxer closed his eyes and sighed. "Well...Gabby, at least I tried. I love you."

He looked to the ocean for one last comfort but was only pained. It was now time for him to go tell her friends and family, and he would start with the Amazons.

* * *

**AN: **My first Xena: Warrior Princess story hope you all will come to like this story! Feel free to leave reviews and feedback! (Btw, this is a very short chapter to kind of get the ball rolling. I am working on chapter two already so it'll be up in a jiffy!) Enjoy :)


	2. Chapter 2

Gabrielle tossed and turned at the oceans will. Still unconscious it seemed like she had lost all fighting chance to survive when a man in a boat floated by.

He winced down at the image of a young girl staring back at him and sighed. _Not another one_. He had seen deaths of younger people lately and was a bit distraught by it but he knew his job had to be done.

With one effortless pull he grabbed the young blonde's body into his little wooden canoe and placed her gently along the canoe's seats as if the canoe were her final resting place. He paused for a second to look at the damage her body had and lowered his head in shame. _Whatever happened to you?_ And with that last thought, he stood at the bow of his boat slowly rowing to take the Bard away from this life.

A few hours had passed and he was nearing his destination when the young blonde stirred from her unconsciousness. He blinked back and was shocked at her earthly return. He dropped the paddle and came kneeling to her side.

"Are you okay?" He asked while reaching for her hands.

Gabrielle's body cracked with pain making the option of sitting up out of the question. Instead she tried making out the man who was being so kind to her.

He had shoulder length black curly hair, but his face was smooth and clean cut. His eyes were soft and blue, but not like Xena's. No, his eyes, they were the color of the oceans. And she thought it odd when his hands wrapped around hers with no blisters to be found from his continuous rowing.

Gabrielle closed her eyes after collecting the image of the man and tried to figure out why she hurt so much. And like a painful burn of fire she remembered her best friend, her soulmate trying to kill her.

A tear slipped from the Bard's eye as the memories surfaced. "If you plan to kill me...Just do it."

"Kill you? No, not I. But someone sure as Orbis Alius tried to kill you." The man gave a look reassuring the Bard that he wasn't there to kill her.

Gabrielle opened her eyes to the man once more and knew the phrase that traced his lips were not Greek. Then it occurred to her she had no idea where she was either.

"Who are you? And Where am I?"

"I am Barinthus. God of the Seas. Not just these seas, of course..." He opened his arms as if to embrace the seas with the love of being home. "But also the seas of Orbis Alius; the Otherworld."

_Dammit. Maybe he's not killing me because I'm _Already_ dead. That's just my luck. _"So where am I?"

"We are tracing the edges of Gallia. But of course since you aren't dead we can return to Greece as soon as you'd like."

The young Bard contemplated the option. _Am I really ready to go home? What if Xena is still there? She'll kill me. Wherever I am going now must be better than returning to Greece. I made such a mess..._

"You know, I think I will be okay if you just drop me off somewhere. I don't think I could ever go back to Greece after what happened."

"Drop you off somewhere? Are you sure?" He asked with deep concern. He knew that it was not safe for a young girl such as herself to be wondering about. "I don't think that's really safe, especially in your condition. I will take you back home to your family. Surely, they will want to see you alive and well."

Still not sitting up, anger and sorrow danced on her tongue. "I can't go home and you will not take me there. By the Gods, I will drown myself if you don't take me elsewhere."

Barinthus sighed and knew that it was not wise to fight with the mortal. "Alright fine, but I am taking you to my dear friend and there you will stay until you are well, understood? I transport enough dead ones to not need another."

"Deal." Gabrielle sighed. She was interested in how she would make it without knowing a single soul, but it was something she felt she needed to do to get over the events with Xena. She never wanted to forget her former best friend and soulmate, but she knew that she could never look to the dark haired warrior ever again.

A few minutes later the canoe had stopped at a rough rocked shore. "We are here." He looked at the Bard figuring out a way to get her out of the boat without hurting her.

"Where exactly is here?" Gabrielle asked calmly.

"...We are at the border of Gallia but we must make our way to Germania before Ceasar's army sees us." Gabrielle's eyes widened as the name Ceasar rang in her ears. "I told you it's not safe, they've hit Britannia and they are said to be coming right back through Gaul and hitting westward after." He looked for a responding expression and continued. "...I will have to zap you over to Sirona, this may hurt, but it's better than carrying you all the way over to her."

Gabrielle nodded and braced herself for the transport.

When she opened her eyes again she was laying on warm grounds, and the area around her was filled with sounds of light water falls.

"Please help her. She insists on staying in this area but she is severely hurt." Barinthus stood tall in front of a frail but young woman. She had short red hair and her skin was as pale as moonlight.

Gabrielle made face at the serpent that was wrapped around the woman's forearm and started doubting her once brilliant idea.

As the woman named Sirona walked towards her she squinted one eye open at her.

"Hello, Gabrielle."

The sound of her name brought both eyes open and to attention. "How did you know my name?"

"I am a Goddess, you know." Sirona winked at the young Bard paralyzed on the ground. "Let's get you up to my table." And with one motion Sirona had brought Gabrielle to the table with a zap.

"Okay, that zappy thing; that is really starting to get to me...or maybe it's just all this pain." She said as she started to feel a fainting sensation overcome her body.

Little did she know it was because the serpent had left Sirona's arm and was now performing a healing ritual along side it's master. After it's lengthy body crawled effortlessly up the Bard's body it settled at her neck and bit down to secrete it's venom into her veins.

"Goodnight, Gabrielle." The voice of Sirona rang through her temple as the Bard fell into deep darkness.

* * *

Xena had Argo in a hard gallop. She was fighting herself to not stop, because if she stopped riding she knew she would have to face the pain of killing her best friend. The saddle was now making her legs raw, and she could tell that Argo was getting tired. However, to Xena, it wasn't a good enough reason to stop. "Come on, girl!" She yelled as she kicked Argo into a faster run.

Argo could tell that Xena needed to stop and face the music, and as she ran harder along a river she decided it was a good time for her master to get a good slap of reality. Even though Argo had a hard time trusting Gabrielle, she could still feel how much the Bard had cared for Xena and knew that Xena just had to get over the pain.

With one big halt Xena went flying into the air and landed in the river. Argo lowered her head towards the ground and let out a snort as Xena emerged from under the water. "What in Tartarus were you thinking, Argo!" She was mad but pulled herself out of the water and shook what she could out of her leathers.

Argo stomped her feet to show that she was making a statement. "I can't just get Gabrielle back! She's dead, Argo! You know that." Xena argued.

Argo looked down with a low neigh, she knew it was partly her fault for allowing Xena to drag her to her death to start with. Saddened Argo gave one last sigh and left Xena alone.

"Argo?" Xena questioned with slight hurt in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Argo! Come back girl!"

Unfortunately, Xena knew that she wasn't going to be able to find Argo until she was ready to be found, and placed herself on a rock nearby the river.

"By the Gods, what have I done?"

"Killed your best friend. Such a shame warrior babe. You're about as lame as my bro, if not more." Aphrodite griped along side Xena in her pink lingerie.

"Go away, Aphrodite. There's no love left in this heart." Xena looked at the ground afraid of how true the statement might be.

"Xena, babe. You can't lie to the Goddess of Love, Duh!" Aphrodite sat beside Xena and wrapped her arm around the warrior. "I hope you know, I never cared for you- but the little sweat pea, I really care about her, and I know you really care about her too. Nothing will change that feeling, not even the death of your son. You can hate her for awhile, but you'll love her for eternity whether you like it or not. And I'm pretty sure your little horsey is trying to get you to realize that too. Later babes." A pink cloud smoked around Xena and Aphrodite was gone.

Xena hated to admit it, but the ditzy Goddess of Love was right. However, it didn't help her situation at all. It only broke her down in realization, that she would never be able to tell her friend how much she truly did love and care for her.

_The least I can do is get her body and give her a proper burial._ Xena's eyes widened and she decided to trudge her way back to the ocean.

* * *

"Poseidon!_" _Screamed with all her might. "Bring me her body!"

The sea became uneasy as Poseidon rose to the surface.

"Xena the warrior princess, asking me a favor. I will not return anything to your wretched soul!" He splashed loudly trying to put fear into the warrior.

"Please, Poseidon...it's not for me it's for her. Gabrielle, never did harm to you."

"But you did harm to her and now you want her body? For what? To defy her like you do me?"

"Poseidon, Please!" Xena begged desperately and was on the brink of tears. "Poseidon, I know that I have done bad things. I know that Gabrielle should not have died by my hands...but she did, and by the Gods, I need to make it right."

Poseidon laughed so hard that the ground surrounding the sea began to shake. "This is a wrong you cannot right, Xena."

"What do you mean?" Xena became angry and lifted herself off the ground preparing to offer herself up if he wouldn't comply.

"I don't wish to help you, Xena. Even if I did, her body does not belong to me. It belongs to Barinthus." He laughed once more but it faded as he dispersed back to a still water.

"Barinthus." She mumbled to herself as her eyes searched for answers. "Who is Barinthus?"

"Ares!" Xena felt an unease in her presence.

"Xena...Xena. You're turning soft on me already. I thought you would hold on to that hate a little longer."

"Well it helps when I get a visit from the Love doctor." Xena winked and smiled with one eye brow raised. She held his gaze with a lustful blue one as she inched closer.

"That changes everything now doesn't it. Too bad Xena, I had hopes for us. Shame my sis had to come and ruin play time." He licked his lips and smiled.

"Enough, Ares. We both know that I'd never return to your side. Even with Gabrielle out of the picture it just won't happen." Xena held her lips inches from his. They could both feel the heat pulsing between them intensify. "Now tell me. Who is Barinthus?"

Ares laughed at the manipulative seduction scheme that Xena was trying to pull on him and he backed out of the lust lock.

"By the Gods, you're good. Trying to seduce me for information. Well- I'll tell you, just for humor's sake. He's not Greek that's for sure. So whoever has your precious little Gabrielle...I'm sure doesn't play nicely."

"Why would it matter if he was Greek or not?" Xena tried to put the pieces together. Her face scrunched up and then widened. "Unless..."

"He's a God?" Ares smiled "Oh, Xena, how will you ever right your wrong now? She's probably trapped in Limbo all because of her big bad Warrior Princess with a Tartarus of an attitude. I am telling you Xena, join me." And with that the tall, dark and handsome God vanished.

Xena felt even more lost than before. Her heart was now breaking away the deep hate that was being held within her.

"Solan," She spoke knowing he could hear her. "I am sorry for the pain and hurt that I have caused you. I hope you can forgive me and I hope that you understand what I must do now for Gabrielle..." She paused as tears fell from her baby blues. "It wasn't her fault. I was foolish and blinded by rage and hate...And I hope you can forgive her as well, Solan.

Argo nuzzled her nose on Xena's back

"Argo." She stood up with a teary smile. "Argo, I am so sorry for what I made you do and for how I have been acting." She hugged her golden horse tightly. "We have to go now, girl. Gabrielle is waiting some where, some place." Xena sighed and lifted herself on Argo. "At least her body is...I hope."

* * *

**A/N: **Chapter 2! and By the Gods! Thank you all so much for the reviews and feedback, keep them coming! Hope you all enjoy! :)


	3. Chapter 3

"Xena! I hate you, Xena! I hate you." Gabrielle screamed in her sleep. "You killed me, you killed everything in me. How could you?!"

Sirona placed a tender hand on the Bard's forehead and Gabrielle bolted awake sobbing. Sirona felt the pain radiating from the young girl and held her tightly.

"It's okay, Gabrielle, you are safe here."

Once Sirona was able to calm the Bard down, she sat next to her and began to explain things.

"You've been asleep for two days now." Gabrielle held her head in her hands and listened while trying to stop her sobs. "Your body has healed wonderfully in my care, you should be able to go back to doing normal things. However, your soul is much too difficult for me to heal, darling, and I'm afraid that I have done all I can to help heal you."

Gabrielle finally got a hold of herself and started thinking of what to do next. Now that the pain was gone from her body, she could feel it surging through her mentally. She was so hurt and broken inside she just wanted to run away and fall off the earth, but the other side of her just wanted revenge.

"You can stay here for tonight if you would like, but tomorrow I must head west so I cannot stay, and you will have to find a new place."

"I think..." Gabrielle inhaled slowly. "I will leave now." She looked over to Sirona. "Thank you so much...for all your help."

The Bard held no expression. She was numb inside from all of her thoughts and memories. It hurt too much. Without looking at Sirona or waiting for her to respond, the Bard got up from the table and headed out to start a new journey, without her best friend.

When she finally reached the forest. She felt even more lonely and lost. Her surroundings taunted her, large trees in a new place, she felt like she didn't stand a chance. She continued to walk forward and eyed a decent branch that was good enough to become her new staff. She grasped it tightly in her hands and swung it around a bit. However, as she swung her staff for practice, it made the memories in her mind stronger. _You lied to me, Gabrielle. I trusted you. _She spun faster. _Kill her! She's only a vessel for evil! You must kill her, Gabrielle. _A tear fell and she pushed harder into her spins. _She's just a child, Xena! How can a child do that much harm, we can save her, make her good! _Gabrielle, grunted and fell more into the flashbacks. _Solan! This is all your fault, Gabrielle! _Gabrielle screamed loud in pain and began wailing on a nearby tree with her new staff. Gabrielle could feel the pain of Xena dragging her behind Argo as she swung violently at the tree.

"Leave all your love and your longing behind...you can't carry it with you if you want to survive." A strong but slender hand reached out and was placed gently on the Bard's back.

Gabrielle froze in pain, hurt, and at the same time comfort. Whoever was behind her didn't startle her, but only sent a warm familiar feeling through her body. It was as if the person put all of their understanding and truth into one touch.

The young blond sighed and turned around, half expecting someone familiar that she wasn't ready to face. However, when she looked up into the person's eyes, she realized that they weren't the baby blues she was expecting. They were beautiful light green eyes.

Gabrielle opened her mouth to try and speak but she was at a loss for words. She thought it was so strange that she could feel safe and protected by someone else that wasn't Xena. Once she was able to break away from the woman's beautiful eyes, she began to let her eyes wonder. The woman's hair was pushed back by a makeshift headband that was made by a single scrap of leather and the color of her hair mimicked the glowing sunlight through the trees. She wore light brown leathers but not like Xena's, they were soft and worn. She had a top that covered her important parts but revealed stern, chiseled abs. And the skirt she wore was longer in the front and back but bore a low cut on the sides to reveal her perfectly curved hips along with her strong muscular legs. She was a little taller than Xena and held much more tone in her muscles. She had slung across her chest a large bow and a quiver filled with arrows. Her feet were bare and dirty from the forest floor but something about her was beautiful, elegant, and almost perfect.

Gabrielle finally was able to pull her jaw closed and blinked repeatedly to wake herself up.

"So tell me, what did that tree do to hurt you?"

Gabrielle tried to form words but was only left to stutter. "Uh-no-nothing. I just..." She finally snapped out it. "...just painful memories and I just needed to vent...guess I got carried away."

The woman side stepped her and walked towards the tree. She placed the same hand on the tree and said what sounded like a quick chant. When she removed her hand from the tree, the parts that Gabrielle's staff had damaged quickly started to grow back.

"Okay...let me guess you're a Goddess...There seems to be a lot of those here. You know just walking around and saving my...Am I dead? Surely that could be the only reason that I'm seeing so many Gods and Goddesses.

"You are not dead. My name is Arduinna, but you can call me Arden."

"Arduinna." Gabrielle muttered her name to get the feeling of saying it down. "Such a beautiful name. What did you mean earlier...by what you said?"

"In order to survive here, in these forests, you must let go of whatever it is you are dwelling on, whatever it is that is setting your soul to flames. You must reconstruct your ways if you want to get by here."

Gabrielle lifted an eyebrow. "Easy for you to say. You don't know what it's like when..."

"Your best friend tries to kill you?" Ardiunna interrupted already knowing what happened between this Xena woman and the young girl standing before her.

"Okay...you know the more you Gods do that, it becomes less impressive and more creepy." Arduinna laughed apologetically and Gabrielle continued. "Besides, I don't really know how to let go of things, it's Xena...She was everything to me; my hero, my friend, my soulmate, my..." She paused and tried to bite back the tears.

"Let it go, Gabrielle. I can help you, but you must truly want to move beyond those things that have hurt you and you must truly want peace within yourself."

"I really do want those things. To stop hurting, to gain peace, and to rest..."

"Then I shall help you. That is if you'll let me?"

"If you do help me, what do you expect in return? No God or Goddess that I know wants to help someone without wanting something in return."

Arduianna rolled her eyes annoyed. "Some Gods and Goddess, just don't get the hint of what it truly means to be a God. Their character's resemble that of lost tormented souls. If I help I ask nothing in return, except for you to respect your lands, your people, and yourself."

"Okay." Gabrielle nodded hesitantly and locked gazes with the goddess. "I would really appreciate your help."

"Let us go then." Arduinna walked away.

"Watch out!" Gabrielle screamed as she noticed a wild boar standing strong before them.

Arduinna smiled and motioned for the boar to come closer. "Gabrielle, this is Milo. Milo boy, this is Gabrielle." The bard kept her eyes wide and stayed in a fighting stance until she finally realized what Arduinna was saying.

"Oh...hello there." Gabrielle smiled nervously at the boar. "He's not going to bite me, is he? I just got over my fear with Argo...I don't exactly have the best relationships with animals."

"He won't bite." Gabrielle sighed in relief and the boar walked towards her as a sign of peace and friendship. With one hand she patted the boar. "Well then. Where are we going?"

"Gabrielle, before we embark on this journey...I will have to ask you to leave your staff."

"My staff? You want me to leave this here? In this place I don't even know? You're kidding me, right?"

"Gabrielle... You must learn the ways of the forest before you can learn other ways. We must build anew to your spirits and ways."

Gabrielle sighed and placed the staff neatly by a tree. "Okay, I guess I can do that."

"It's getting late so in a little ways up that mountain we will need to build camp for the night. Then tomorrow we will set out and officially begin your lessons."

Gabrielle nodded and smiled faintly. She followed quietly beside the Goddess and the boar. It shocked her though, because even though the boar was able to be ridden on, she walked beside the Bard at the same pace. As equals.

"Why have you been so kind to me? I really don't deserve any of this hospitality that I'm receiving. Although, don't get me wrong, I am thankful for it, without you..." Gabrielle locked her jaw and scrunched her eyebrows together. "I'd probably be dead by now..."

"I am not to judge you for what you have and have not done, Gabrielle. I am the way of these forests and connected to every living thing through peace and the circle of life. I am a warrior and a hunter but I am also love and peace and my home protects those who know it well and murders those who dare enter it with ignorance and naïvety. What you hold close in your heart is not the want to inflict pain on another or bring those who hurt you towards revenge. Inside and deep down, your spirit and ways shine bright within you."

"I really don't feel that way. I hate her so much you know, for what she did. If she wasn't so concerned about Hope, I could have raised her to be good, I could have taught her what you think is so deeply rooted within me. It's her fault, not mine. It's her fault Hope learned the ways of evil, her fault that Solan is dead." Gabrielle was now seeing red and sadness, clearly the pain wouldn't go away so easily.

"Do you really believe that, Gabrielle? That it's Xena's fault?" Arduinna stopped in mid-stride and turned to face the Bard.

"It wasn't just all my fault, that's for sure. I mean I keep telling myself that we were both at fault. But Arduinna, the way she looked at me, the way she told me I had no right to say his name and that it was all my fault because I couldn't kill Hope. I feel like it is sometimes, I betrayed her, she didn't betray me...even though she tried to kill me." She was becoming more theatrical as her emotions came spiraling out.

"I think that you know the truth of what divides you two from each other, but I know that all the pain amongst you two prevents you both from seeing things with a clear and just mind."

"That and I'm definitely not ready to face her, I don't feel as if I'll ever be."

Gabrielle was now looking toward the woman for some kind of answer or guidance.

"It will come to you, Gabrielle. You'll know what to do when it happens."

They walked a few more ways up the mountain and eventually reached a perfect place to camp.

"We shall sleep here tonight. Tomorrow you will rise early to find food."

Gabrielle was okay with the camp spot that Arduinna had picked out, up until she realized that she had no bed rolls or the comforting arms of Xena.

She sat limply with her back to a rock and looked around for something she could use for warmth, but then with deceiving eyes she was quick to sleep.

* * *

Xena decided that she would make camp outside of a nearby city. In the morning she would enter the city to get as much information on this Barinthus guy as she could.

But for now- Xena gazed at the stars that hung so beautifully above her. She wondered if Gabrielle could see them too and hoped that the place she rested was as beautiful as Elysian fields.

"Limbo? Is it beautiful, Gabrielle?" Xena kept watching for some sort of sign. "Well...If not I'll be the first to save you. You know that don't you?" She waited for a beat and then decided it was no use. _If she wasn't taken by the Greek God's maybe she can't even hear me. By the Gods, Gabrielle, what have I done, will you ever forgive me?_

* * *

__**A/N: **Thanks again for the reviews & Feedback! :) Hope you all enjoyed this and definitely more to come! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Breaking this into two parts. Here is the first part because I might not be able to update until Friday or Saturday. It's also kind of an intro into what Gabrielle must start doing. Anyways! Enough of my talking. Thank you so much for all the support and reviews! Please continue the reviews and and feedback! It keeps me going. :D P.s. Most of this is actual mythology and what not, but I had to tweek it some so I'm sorry if it's not 100% correct enough for some of you.

* * *

Xena woke up to nothing at all except the cold morning air. Sitting up, she sighed heavily in sorrow because there was no young blonde at her side keeping her warm and no one to make the amazing dumplings with the yummy red stuff inside. Groaning she packed up her stuff and set out for the nearby town. There she would get breakfast and gather information on Limbo and this Barinthus God.

When she finally made it into the town she settled Argo in a nearby stable and decided to start her day by eating at a near by pub.

She walked in half expecting a snooty comment from the Bard. _I know, Xena. I have to wait here while you go off and get some information or put the pinch on some warlord. Don't worry Xena I'll be right here, you know, unless, they come here and start trouble. _A light smile curled across Xena's face as she danced around her memories of the Bard. She finally snapped out of it and realized that if she wanted to try and see her friend she should probably hurry.

She ordered up a nice warm stew at the bar where she comfortably took a seat next to a few older guys. They looked at her like a fine meal and licked at their chops. Xena rolled her eyes but took advantage of the situation and fixed them a lusting gaze. "Say boys." She started as she began indulging in the hearty meal. "You all wouldn't know anything about Limbo or Barinthus would you?"

The men scoffed at the warrior princess. "If you don't cooperate with us, you'll be headin' there 'urself with that bein' the last man to take ya anywhere." The men decided they wanted to taste the warrior princess for themselves.

"Oh really?" Xena's eyebrow rose and she gave mischievous grin. "Tell you what boys. I'll do anything you want if you can get your filthy little hands on me."

They all gave an approving look to each other and then started towards her. She whipped her stool at them with one heaving kick and gave out her infamous war cry.

"Come on boys. You can't sit down now, we're just getting started." They readjusted themselves. Some grabbed chairs and the others balled their fists in furry. She smiled big and took one last sip of her stew before she threw the bowl as a makeshift chakrum. It ricocheted through the pub and knocked out a couple of the men and disarmed the others. As it whooshed back around she caught it and placed it gently on the counter top without a single scratch on the bowl.

Before the men could regain their composure Xena already knew she had won. "Now tell me, who wants to talk?"

They all looked at her with wide drunken eyes and ran for the door. Her grin fell from her face and she sat back down at the bar to think. _Dammit, that didn't work. I really need Gabrielle, I suck at doing this talking thing. _

"What? You want a piece of me as well?" Xena asked with her back still turned to the stranger that was courageous enough stalk quietly behind her.

It was an old woman with rugged clothes that approached her left side. "Young woman - I want no piece of you at all. I'm far too old and my branches don't bend that way...if you catch my drift." The old woman lifted up her dress to reveal her knickers at the word drift and winked with a chuckle.

"Then what is it that you want?" She was losing patience with the people in the town and losing out on time.

"Why is it that you ask for the God of the Seas, both of here and the Otherworld. What purposes do you have in knowing about Limbo?"

The woman perked the attention of the warrior princess. "You know about all that?"

Again the lady chuckled. "Sweetheart, I know many stories." She smiled sweetly and touched the cold cheek of the warrior. "I am a great Bard you know."

"A Bard, ehy?" The thought made Xena miss her friend even more. She gave in. "The name is Xena." She extended her forearm and the old lady returned the shake.

"My name is Sappho. I can tell you what you want to know if you can ask the right questions." She took a seat next to Xena and ordered two hot teas.

Xena's eyes shot open at her name and gasped. "So..." She squinted her eyes as if Gabrielle were playing another one of her tricks. "You're the infamous poet I hear about all the time?"

"Mmm...who cares to know these things." Sappho sipped hesitantly at her hot tea. Xena smiled at her statement. It was interesting to see how down to earth the woman was, and that Gabrielle would have been proud of the person Sappho really was.

"What can you tell me about Barinthus?" Xena regained focus.

"Barinthus is a Celtic God, his name really is Manannán mac Lir. He is the God of Seas and Weather, however, he is known to transport the dead across the river to the Otherworld or as Celts call Tech Duinn."

"But why was he here in the Greek seas? What purpose did have in taking my friend?"

The woman smiled gently at finally understanding why the warrior wanted such information. "He probably found something beautiful in her soul. Sometimes, he will take those who are in much need of something, whose hearts are pure but yearn to live on." Xena kept listening. "In our lands, where the Greek Gods and Goddess rule, when we are transported to the Otherworld the river washes away our memories and our sins. Whereas the Celts, their waters are those of wisdom and inspiration."

A tear fell from the warrior's eye. She was happy that Gabrielle was taken by someone who would be gentle with her and put more meaning into her soul and spirit. That someone, a God, could care so generously the way she failed to care for Gabrielle. She was becoming a little bit more at ease, she knew that Gabrielle was bound for a beautiful afterlife, but as always she had to make sure, and if Limbo was as amazing as she thought she would leave the Bard in peace and be forced to move on.

"And this Limbo place?"

The woman looked up into the Warrior's blue eyes. "Tech Duinn for the Celts is a place much like the Greek's Elysium fields. However, when your soul cannot pass for one reason or another, you are sent to Limbo or a holding place until judged. For many staying there it is said to be torturous, many are stuck reliving their deaths over and over again until their time for judgment is upon them. And Judgement for them is a rare event, most are stuck there for eternity."

Heat rose in the warrior's face. She felt a turn in the pit of her stomach. "If Gabrielle..." She darted her eyes around while trying to multi-think. "...if Gabrielle, is reliving her death...by the Gods, she will probably never forgive me or ever be at peace. I have to save her and I have to get her out of there. Where can I find this place?"

Sappho looked sadly at Xena. "I cannot tell you, for I do not know. However, find Barinthus near Dursey Island and you will find your answers that lead you to your friend."

Xena reminded herself to thank the Celtic Gods later and started getting ready to start heading towards Dursey Island. "Thank you..." Xena placed her hand on the old woman and gave her most sincere smile.

"You are welcome. Blessed journey's..." Sappho smiled and then remembered something. "Oh, and by the way...take this to your friend and give it to her." She reached into her bag and grabbed out a scroll with a seal of a bird-like creature holding it together. "But...only when you are truly ready to do so."

Xena smiled knowing that if she were to ever meet Gabrielle again that this would be the best present she could ever give to her. She took the scroll and placed it safely in her pack and then headed out towards Argo.

"Hey girl, looks like we are heading North to Dursey. We've got a long ways to go. Ready?"

Argo neighed and pranced in place impatiently. She was ready as she'd ever be. And in all honesty, Xena could tell that Argo missed the Bard almost as much as she did.

* * *

Same day

Gabrielle, finally woke up and was met with a mouthwatering aroma. _Sweet! I could totally get used to this. _She thought as she stared down the fish, salad, and drink.

The young Bard poked a stick into a nicely cooked fish and just when she was about to bite down it disappeared.

"Oh, come on." Gabrielle grunted, she thought she was alone until Arduinna appeared.

"It's not that easy you know. You want food you should get up earlier."

Gabrielle squinted with anger in her eyes. "I haven't eaten since I left Sirona's and you didn't even wake me."

Arduinna gave a serious grin that reminded Gabrielle a little of Xena.

"First lesson. Depend on yourself for the things you want and need. You must rise with the sun and slumber when it betrays us for the night time skies."

Gabrielle knew this was going to be a very tough day if she had to go without food. "You don't understand, I can't really hunt. You know Xena..." Gabrielle caught herself, "always hunts the food and I cook it." She was clueing in on the what the Goddess was getting at. A lot of what Gabrielle didn't like was the fact that she was never seen as an equal when it came to Xena, she always felt like a silly ol' sidekick and she depended on her like one too. Her face hardened and she stood great in stature in front of Arduinna. "Okay, I get what you're saying. So, what do I need to do to in order to get breakfast around here?"

"Gabrielle, it is too late to hunt for food. You must wait until lunch."

Gabrielle grunted loudly and balled her fist. "You've got to be kidding me."


	5. Chapter 5

Gabrielle and Adruinna walked in silence for what seemed like centuries.

The young blonde followed her new companion closely, and bore a stern face as she fought against her babbling hungry stomach.

"Okay, Gabrielle...You can do this, just a little bit more until you can eat lunch." Gabrielle told herself in a quiet mutter. "Just a little bit more...right? I'm dying here." Her stomach leapt out with a big growl that even spooked Milo as her eyes widened in embarrassment.

Adruinna calmed Milo by gently petting his head. "Yes, Gabrielle, not to long until we can get to hunting."

Gabrielle nodded without another word and decided that she would occupy herself with trying to make temporary parchment out of leaves and bark she found along the way. The goddess took interest and watched her intently through her peripheral vision and soon discovered the discomfort in the young girl's face.

Gabrielle tried to use the items she picked up to write a story, a poem, or anything. However, her attempts only proved that her story telling and her writing were becoming as foreign to her as the friendship with Xena had become.

"Something is bothering you..." Arduinna spoke while loosening Milo's reigns a little.

"You know, I used to write such beautiful stories when I traveled alongside Xena. I was such an extraordinary Bard, I even got into the Academy of Athens." Gabrielle's exaggerated movements soon turned into a defeated sigh as the memories of how she always left her dreams and desires to be with Xena. However, now that Xena was gone, she had no desire to do the things she once greatly wanted to do. It was when she was with Xena she felt she could always conquer anything. And it was with Xena when she had the greatest courage to not care what other's thought about her success or failure.

"Ní huasal ná íseal, ach thuas seal is thíos seal," Adruinna smiled slightly. She understood the heartache that lurked beneath the Bard's chest, but also knew that everything would eventually turn out for the best for Gabrielle.

Gabrielle blinked at the words but disregarded them as she drowned in her sorrow and hunger. They both fell silent for a beat.

When they arrived at their destination Adruinna paused.

"Wait here." The Goddess leapt forward with Milo trotting quickly on her heels.

Gabrielle looked puzzled at the action that just happened, but proceeded to wait patiently.

While she waited she sat down on a soft mound of dirt next to a rock and began to try and clear her mind of everything negative.

"Focus. Focus." Gabrielle repeated slowly. "Just focus." She let out a deep breath and tried to steady her breathing.

Finally she was able to reach a place of warmth, where her mind danced around a beautiful image. Then she realized it was the same warmth she had felt when Adruinna first placed a hand on her shoulder.

With her eyes still closed and her breathing calm, she embraced it as long as she could. She could feel peace and no heartache when the sun-haired Goddess touched her.

"Gabrielle..." The young blonde opened her eyes. "This way."

And while keeping a solid hand on Gabrielle's shoulder she touched the rock with her other hand, and it began to sprout deep green moss, and the dirt around where Gabrielle was sitting turned into beautiful soft grass with tiny flowers creating a pathway.

She jumped up shocked at the Goddess, "Wow, that was so... amazing! So...beautiful." Gabrielle looked into the eyes of the Goddess.

"It is you who is beautiful. For when you are calm and at peace you sprout the most beautiful things. Humans, sadly cannot see the seeds they plant with the goodness in their heart. But with me, you will always be able to see it, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle smiled a blushing grin and to hide it she ran off to chase the flowers that laid before her.

It wasn't the flowers that stopped her, when she did, but the breath taking view of the hidden grounds it lead to. It was more beautiful then Elysium fields. The trees covered the area like a secret hiding place, and there was a river flowing from a waterfall that ran in the middle. It was made of gold from the sunlight and silver from the water.

"Come. It is time to eat." Adruinna smiled brightly behind Gabrielle and guided her to a bushy hiding spot.

"Down." She instructed and Gabrielle followed orders.

The Goddess lifted the bow from her torso, and grabbed an arrow from her quiver.

"Wait...we're hunting? For what, I don't see anything..." Gabrielle squinted her eyes and looked for something, anything they could shoot, but nothing.

Adruinna prayed silently, she prayed for buck to come forth and nourish the mind and body of her friend, to give it's life for a better one. She blessed it and blessed the young blonde.

Gabrielle was still puzzled and was about to speak.

"What are you goi...?"

Adruinna shushed her and shoved the bow and arrow in her hands.

"Wait a moment." The Goddess eyed Gabrielle.

"I thought you said I couldn't have weapons. Besides I don't even know how to use one of these things." Gabrielle fumbled a bit with the bow and arrow nervously.

"Steady. Pull it up like this and just focus." When Gabrielle raised the bow like shown, she realized her target was a medium sized buck. "I can't shoot that!" Gabrielle looked wide-eyed at the Goddess.

"Just breathe."

Gabrielle tried to pull off a focused look and then closed her eyes as she cracked the arrow through the air. It flew a few feet and plopped lifelessly to the ground.

"Okay, again, but this time with your eyes open."

Gabrielle sighed and tried to collect herself. "I really can't..." She shook her head and lowered the bow.

"You can. He gives his life to you with no sorrow. Only with dignity, and with bravery. He will live to be stronger in the afterlife."

Gabrielle nodded a bit sad that such a beautiful creature would give up its life for her. Adruinna saw the glimpse of sadness glimmer in the young blonde and she wrapped her arms around her.

"Like this." She placed both hands over Gabrielle's.

"Spread your legs shoulder length apart." The blonde did as told, and was trying to relax in the Goddess' embrace. The power of it was almost overwhelming.

"Breathe in deep and draw back. Fingers aligned to the corner of your mouth." There was a rush of light as the Goddess' hand drew closer to her cheeks, she let out a deep sigh, focused on what was in front of her and opened her eyes with a deep breath in.

"Now let go...of everything hurting you. Let it go. Let it fly."

The words stabbed Gabrielle's heart like the sound of the arrow cracking into the crisp air right into her target. She grunted with tears and fell to the ground.

Adruinna let go for a moment and did a spiritual chant that set the buck's soul to a better and more beautiful place, and she thanked him by doing what mimicked the Amazon's signing of peace.

Gabrielle was clenching her chest and heaving heavily with sobs. Adruinna made a quick return to her side and comforted the young blonde.

"Shhh...It's okay Gabrielle."

Gabrielle's eyes lit up in anger. "What did you do to me!?"

She got up quickly with one hand still clenched to her chest and used the other to push away the goddess. For a split second she regretted her actions as the forest started to spin, but then closed her eyes and tried to gather what ever strength she had left within her. Once she was able to see the forest straight, she took off into a sprint as far away from Adruinna as possible. Her mind raced as her legs took her further and further.

She couldn't understand what happened, and she didn't know if she even wanted too. She was at her last thread after Xena tried to kill her, and she didn't know how much more she could take from anyone else.

Gabrielle's legs were starting to buckle under all the pressure. Her mind bogged her down and the heavy feeling in her chest was spreading all over her body.

Finally her legs gave out and she stumbled to the forest floor. Her hands had left her chest and she was now gripping tightly to the dirt beneath her.

"By the Gods..." She mumbled to herself as she tried to collect her thoughts.

She stayed In the same position for what felt like hours before she gave mercy to the dirt. She had trouble wrapping her head around the last few moments. She remembered such a glowing warmth when she was about to shoot, and that whatever happened after, she definitely was not ready for.

The young blonde curled tightly into a ball, tucking her knees under her elbows and buried her face snugly into her arms

* * *

It was so different without Xena. She was starting to yearn for home, but she had to keep reminding herself that there was no longer a home for her. She was sure that no matter where she went Eastward Xena would find her, and if she knew she was still alive it'd only cause more trouble and hurt then she desired. Although, Gabrielle figured she deserved every bit of what came to her if she ever returned home. However, even if Xena welcomed her she was beginning to feel she couldn't leave this place. This was now her home with Adruinna. But her mind kept having trouble digesting the idea. She wasn't ready to make home with someone new. She wasn't ready to be warmed by someone else that wasn't Xena. Was she? Regardless, she knew that getting close to someone had dire consequences and she was getting extremely close to the forest goddess.

* * *

She smacked her head repeatedly in her arms as she mumbled how stupid she was. "You're just going to hurt someone or better yet kill their child. Why are you so stupid, Gabrielle. You'll hurt her or she'll turn out like every other god and hurt you. Think before you do these things." She kept on with the self-lecture.

She suddenly noticed the drop in temperature. She hadn't noticed it earlier as her body tried to cool its self but now that she was still - she could feel her tiny hairs stand up and she began to shiver.

_Has it always been this cold? _

A small white flake fell right on top of her nose and it seemed to perk her up. She brought her head to attention and looked up to see what else might fall out of the sky and as if on cue more of the white flakes began to fall around her. She smiled as she knew that someone was trying to tell her to give it a break. She got up and out stretched her arms and began to spin effortlessly in the falling snow. She smiled inside but realized that she couldn't let go of the pain.

"Gabrielle?" The goddess appeared mystically from behind the tree line. "I'm sorry, for whatever harm I caused you."

Gabrielle's eyes slipped down to the ground. She knew that her actions toward Adruinna were pretty harsh, and it wasn't necessarily her fault.

"No, Adruinna. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the harm or distress I caused _you_. I guess..." Gabrielle paused and wrinkled her eyebrows at the goddess. "I guess I'm not used to all this yet. And when you touched me... I wasn't ready for everything you had to give. It was warm, beautiful. Adruinna you're beautiful."

The bard stepped closer to the goddess and placed her hands gently on her cheeks. "But I'm not ready to feel safe and protected... At least by someone else. I've relied to heavily on Xena and i'm afraid ill do it with you."

The goddess understood. She smiled gently towards, Gabrielle. "I will take it slow. Will you be coming back with me or should I leave you be?"

Gabrielle couldn't resist smiling back and laughed as a tear escaped her eye. "Of course, Adruinna, I'll come back with you."

* * *

**AN: Well- Hope you enjoyed the chapter more to come. So sorry about the delay in updating the story. I've been super busy with school, going to visit family in Japan, etc. Just has been all crazy and hectic. But I will be updating more. Anyways, thank you as always for the support! Please feel free to keep supporting by commenting, following, and/or, ****favoriting! **


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